Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize