i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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