why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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