Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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