I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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