Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize