when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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