Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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