the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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