I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize