Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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