I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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