Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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