im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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