did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
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I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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