I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize