Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
this hospital has no fireball
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
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We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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