Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize