I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize