weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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