Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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