farters have to be the big spoon...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize