quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I see more hoeing in ur future
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