You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize