You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize