C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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