i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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