You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
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I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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