i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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