At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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