i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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