Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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