just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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