I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize