Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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