I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize