Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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