38 yer olds are good kisserssss
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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