Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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