sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize