the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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