Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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