That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize