i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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