I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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