I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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