I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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