I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize