Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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