so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize